Vice squad
Humans can be weak and vain creatures, and there’s money to be made off of that

In July, the first hookah lounge opened in St. John’s and the Canadian Cancer Society isn’t happy about it.

The Society isn’t pleased because it says the lounge, where patrons smoke a substance known as “shisha” – a blend of flavoured herbs – through a water pipe, could hurt patrons more than smoking cigarettes.

While that may be true, why should we pick on hookah lounges for trying to profit off the addictions, vanity and plain stupidity of the human race? After all, there are plenty of examples of businesses that do just that, and could be considered worse offenders than a hookah lounge.

Tanning salons
Yes, pay to lie on a bunch of panels while artificial ultraviolet radiation bakes your hide, all so you can avoid looking pasty white during the fall, winter and spring. To each his own, but we prefer to decrease, rather than increase, our chances of getting skin cancer. Vanity can be deadly.

Tattoo parlours
Once upon a time, tattoos were for sailors, criminals and Maori warriors. Not anymore. Now everyone from babes to baby boomers is getting their ink, and all for a mere few hundred dollars a session. Maybe those tattoos look cool now, but how fashionable will they seem on wrinkled skin when you’re 80?

Cosmetic surgery
clinics Breast implants. Tummy tucks. Nose jobs. If there is a part of your body that doesn’t please you, modern cosmetic surgery can fix it to your liking. Or not. Have you seen Mickey Rourke or Melanie Griffith lately? Sometimes it’s better to stick with the body parts you were born with.

Fast food restaurants
Let’s face it – McDonalds, Wendy’s, Subway, et al. – you’re killing us. You know many of us can’t resist your salty, fatty foods and you keep serving it up to us in increasingly large quantities. Shame. Shame on the lot of you.